Moving house can be very stressful, and can put a lot of pressure on the family unit, especially if you have children. Children can get incredibly upset by moving, and even grieve - for their old friends, for the secure networks they might have built up at school with teachers and peers. We offer some signs to watch out for below and also tips on how to ensure your children feel involved with the move, and so more in control of what is happening.
SkipsForYou and AcornWaste can help with some of this stress, by arranging for a skip for you to deal with unwanted stuff, or rubbish, before you move. There is no point in paying to move junk that will end up just taking up space at the new house. Make a fresh start and sort out rubbish before you leave, and also feel good about the reduced carbon emissions as a result of not moving rubbish from one location to another! It doesn’t matter which UK area you are moving from or to, we can deliver a skip anywhere. If you think you might need more help, we can also deliver a man with a van, skip bags, help with house clearance, portakabin hire, and even deal with your confidential data destruction.
We can help you with your house move through thorough preparation and also use of check-lists.
Moving House and Stress:
Moving house has ramifications for all the family. However, while adults may feel more in control as they re involved in decision-making, and focusing on practical issues, children can get caught up in feelings of loss and grief. Children can feel powerless, as they are having their friends and known environment taken away from them.
Signs of Stress in Children:
Not all children will be upset – some may enjoy the move hugely and be full of excitement. However signs to watch out for are in younger children: thumb-sucking, bed wetting, regression – going back to talking baby talk for example, and clinginess (just what you need when you’re dashing round!)
Older children may show signs of loss of appetite, insomnia, hair twirling, shyness or aggression. You might also see changed sleeping patterns, problems with concentration, stomach aches or headaches. If your child’s personality seems to change, this could be down to the stress of the move.
Don’t forget that some of these symptoms might just show that your child is adjusting – and that they will naturally get over it, once they’ve had a settling-in period. Make sure that your children get plenty of healthy food, rest and some chance to stretch their legs, if you are very busy with the move. Don’t forget that stress is great for viruses, so try to keep calm, and keep your immunity up. Look into local sitting services; you can always have someone entertain your child , and very importantly to talk to and listen to them, in a quiet calm area, while you get on with packing and unpacking. And, even if you do manage to get help with the children, do also try to spend some time with them yourself - listen to their fears and concerns and point out the positive aspects of the move to them.
Make your move less stressful:
Make sure you talk to your children well ahead of the move so they have plenty of time to adjust. Help them to decide on things like colours to decorate with, perhaps an area of the garden that might be theirs - if you have no garden, talk about how they can help you ot grow herbs in pots for the kitchen windowsill. Small children can perhaps be easiest to move - they depend more on just being with you for their security, so as long as you're around, this should help them. Tell them stories about other children who are moving. It can be a good idea to take items like their bed with you, or at least check that they sleep in the same bedding. This way the transition will be more gradual.
School-age children can get very upset about moving away from friends. It is difficult to decide whether to move in term-time or in the holidays. Holidays give the child time to adjust- but not the same opportunity to make friends as if they were at school. Do your best to find parents' groups in the community that will give your child a chance to meet other children.
Teenagers may be very upset by moving. Listen to them and treat what they have to say with respect (if it's reasonable.) If the move means losing a girl or boy friend this can be terrible for them - imagine how you would feel. It can be easy to dismiss these feelings in a young adult, but they are very keenly felt, despite your teenager just setting out with these emotions. If you can arrange visits back to see old friends this might help. Try to compromise and most of all let your teenager know that you share their concerns and are doing your best to understand.
Sort out your children's room or rooms first - this gives them a secure base and their own territory. Try to stick to normal mealtimes and bedtimes. Be patient but firm with difficult behaviour. Use reward charts for good behaviour if this is appropriate. Expect your child to take at least 6 weeks to 'settle-in' and expect some slightly erratic behaviour during this time. If the erratic behaviour continues past this time, then it might be worth a visit to the doctor or to think about counselling, especially with any of the following: headache, stomachache, depression solitude, apathy, lower marks at school, and anti-social behaviour such as lying, or stealing.
However, do also remember that humans are designed to be able to cope with stress and that most of us do pull through. This can be a positive time where you can find out a lot about both yourself and your children. And don't forget to call Skipsforyou for help if you want more advice, or Acornwaste for commercial help.